I get lost sometimes in the idea that things are "supposed" to be one way, or another way. That glistening perfection in magazines, or Pinterest.. captures my imagination and I can't see past what "should" be to what is. And then, those moments where the sun breaks thru the clouds and I see reality so clearly that the mist of fantastic wondering is cast aside and I'm left shaken by the starkness of real life, real. James Foley was beheaded this week. And somehow, putting a name and a face to the senseless brutality brought it home to me. That nice looking man.. beheaded to make a weak point to the world. Or maybe the strong point that all ISIS has to offer is bloodshed and barbarism. I don't really know what else it might be, but for me, from the moment I put a name to the kind eyes in the photo.. I realized that my safe world was just an illusion. We are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, America is. People hate us. Which is so odd, because Americans in general are terrible haters, we have trouble even disliking things strongly. And then.. Theres Ferguson Missouri. I know people who live there. Friends who are white and who go to a mixed raced Christian church. People in their church have suffered from the rioting and looting. Thats getting closer to where I live. So maybe hate isn't just a crazy barbaric thing that happens in Islamic countries? It's right here. Jimmy Foleys parent's believe he is going to heaven. I wish I knew for sure of that, about any of us. It seems like we need a better place to hope for than this one. All I know is that inside people is the capacity for good and the capacity for evil. When humans choose to harm others for any reason, we have to assume they lose the capacity for good in the percentage they gain the capacity for evil. It's the old saying, whichever wolf you feed is the one that grows. Feed the wolf that is strong and good. Starve the one that is hateful and bitter. I had to go to the Fair this year riding a mobility scooter. My dizziness has gotten the best of me, and in this heat I can't walk far. It was heartwarming to see how happy it made people to be kind to me. They didn't know WHY I was in a handicapped contrivance, but they knew I had a need and it made them happy to help me. One gentleman spent about half an hour helping me find my mother and driving her around in his golf cart. Another jumped off the trolly and handed my son an unused wristband for the Midway. Both said something to the effect of "I just want you to have the best day possible, glad you could make it to the Fair today!". Then there were the sweet ladies in the restroom who had to untangle me and the scooter from the counter and trashbins where I managed to get stuck. Who kept reassuring me it was no trouble and that they were just glad I was having a good day. The entire day was spent with people being gracious and kind, and I came away with this overwhelming sense that in being weak and needy... in giving them an opportunity to help somebody, I had made a difference for good in their life. People can be so truly beautiful sometimes. They made me feel like it was an honor for them to help me. I remain deeply touched and grateful for that experience, and while the circumstances of being sick are not the optimal, I'm left happy for a chance to see the good side of humanity in a world so full of darkness. I've got James Foleys photo etched in my mind, and I won't forget him quickly. But instead of fear and bitterness, I'm going to think that even if bad things happen to good people, it's no reason to stop being good. In order to conquer great darkness, light has to shine even brighter.